Truths

By Frank the Man | Aug 28, 2011

I was driving through my neighborhood this week when I spotted a youngster about 200 yards away, skateboarding in my direction. When I cut the distance in half, I could tell this ‘youngster’ had a thick black mustache.

 

By the time I had passed him, a Truth had emerged – ‘If you’re old enough to have a mustache that can be seen from 100 yards away, you’re too old to be using a skateboard as a means of transportation’.

 

That got me to thinking.

 

There are any number of Truths that I hold to be inviolable.

 

Not just the ‘Honesty is the best policy’ or ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’ sort of truth that we’ve all had hammered into our heads since we were in rompers.

 

But there are other Truths I’ve encountered along the way, from off the beaten path, that just seem to make more and more sense, the older I get.

 

Here are some of those, with attribution where applicable.

 

‘Never eat anything green for breakfast’ (with all due respect to Dr. Seuss).

 

‘Sometimes it’s better to know the judge than to know the law’, and

 

‘Politicians have long ago forgotten who is the Master and who is the Servant’. (My dad introduced me to these two Truths).

 

‘It does, indeed, take two to tango’.

 

‘A walk IS as good as a hit’.

 

A favorite bumper sticker tells a Truth - 'Well behaved women never make history'.

 

Bill Davis, a most sagacious gent, shared these thoughts more than thirty years ago, and they’ve stood the test of time; ‘The less important a decision is, the harder it is to make – and a decision that makes no difference whatsoever is impossible to make’.

 

He also made this classic observation that is as True as the day is long – ‘The more you gamble, the less you lose when you win’.

 

Years later, my buddy Larry countered with his own gambling advice that also qualifies as a Truth – ‘A guy ought to make at least one bet every day - otherwise, how will he know if he was lucky?’.

 

The great sportswriter Red Smith once observed that ‘Rooting for the New York Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel’. That’s the Truth.

 

Dan Marino made it to the Super Bowl in his rookie season, and NFL coaches and fans have been expecting other young QBs to do the same ever since, to the detriment of too many careers to count. The Truth – ‘It takes five years of holding a clipboard before somebody really learns how to play Quarterback in the NFL’.

 

And to finish off, with the season less that two weeks away, the NFL provides us with perhaps the Greatest Truth of all – ‘On any given Sunday…….’

 

There’s no question about it.

 

FtheM

 

 

 

 

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