Friends keep us young at heart

By Kay Wagner | Jun 01, 2011

There’s magic in friendship, whether it’s chemistry, common interests, or a working relationship.  

How valuable to call a friend and say, ”I’m feeling blue today.  I need to meet you for coffee.”  Then over coffee and laughter, your perspective changes.

But good friendships are not only about laughter and encouragement.  Sometimes your best friends will drive you crazy.  Especially if you don’t put your cards on the table speak up when you’re upset.

It’s easy to see why we don’t want to be honest with our friends if we’re frustrated.  We’re afraid of offending or losing their friendship.  But a good friendship should be able to weather the storm.

Good communication is not just honest, it’s direct.  One of my dearest friends says, “If there’s something wrong, TELL me.

“Don’t just tell everyone else.  But if you have a problem with me, before you speak to me, walk in my shoes.  Look deep inside.  See how you really feel and then say it.  

“Use ‘I feel’ words so I won’t feel like I am being attacked.”

I asked a wise male friend how he nurtures his friendships.  “By being a good listener,” he said, “But I don’t give feedback, unless they ask for it.  

“Sometimes friends push your buttons.  Evaluate how and why they get to you.  Maybe there’s some truth that you don’t want to see.

 “Think about your expectations.  Then write a list.  What do you want in a friendship?  When you see it in black and white it allows you to rethink the situation.”

College roommates Julie and Laura are like sisters.  They can count on each other not only for support but to tell the truth.  And their secret is total honesty.  They just tell it like it is.  

“How much of that perfume do you have left?” Julie asked Laura. Since Julie has to smell Laura’s perfume in their dorm room, they shopped together to find a new scent they both liked.

Don’t let resentment hover like smog polluting your attitude and your friendship.  Clear the air.  Talk about it when it happens.  

Because holding on to resentment is like taking a poison pill and expecting it to hurt the other person.  So say what you need to say, and then let it go so you can be warmhearted and on good terms with yourself and your friends.

Close friends are one of life’s greatest treasures.  We may worry about finances, health or world events, but the power of a good friend will carry us through every time.

Kay Wagner LMP & NASM Certified Personal Trainer, leads classes in Yoga, Pilates, Free weights & Fit-ball.  Her BABY BOOMER/SENIORS oriented  classes are held at ROSEHILL Community Center.  

Kay provides Massage Therapy & Personal Training  in her studio overlooking the mountains and water, at 828 2nd St. in Mukilteo. Please call 425-353-4545.  Learn more @

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